"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck) 10/02/2018 at 17:33 • Filed to: wow he has an actual opinion this time

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There’s something about new construction that tries to look like old construction that just doesn’t....... You know...

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 10/02/2018 at 17:35

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And something about Gambrel and Mansard roofs that make me want to gag...

KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 10/02/2018 at 17:36

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RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 10/02/2018 at 17:37

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HOW BARN ROOF WORK HURR DURR

fintail > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 10/02/2018 at 17:40

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Some of proportions and details are way off, but it is more pleasing than a mcmodern or a faux Tuscan etc. I think this would look better sitting a little higher, on a less flat lot, not on a slab.

These wannabe shingle style gambrel roof things have been a trend on the points/Medina for a little while now. Realtors will call it a “manse” or “Nantucket” along with other flowery terms, maybe a couple 8s in the seven figure price.

I like how the garage is full of boxes, hints at the future.

WilliamsSW > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 10/02/2018 at 17:42

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Ah yes, but does it have that barnyard smell to it?

And... Um... Is that a single family home?  God I hope not.

facw > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 10/02/2018 at 17:43

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Yeah, that doesn’t work. Making your house look like a row of barns is not the solution to anything.

And it’s not like there weren’t old houses that were large if you want a style that works.

If you must have gambrel roofs and shingled walls on your McMansion, maybe try something like this instead:

Or this:

Or maybe this:

This is close to what they have, but they at least connected the sections with nice porches instead of solid blocks:

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 10/02/2018 at 17:46

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It’s like art deco meets M aine cottage, it doesn’t work for me at all. .

benjrblant > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 10/02/2018 at 17:46

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“Bob! These winders are super cheap! Bought a bunch o em. Ya think if you group em in sets of two, and then set of three, they might not look like we’re trying to find a place to put all of em?”

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > fintail 10/02/2018 at 17:47

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Then you're gonna LOVE their plumbing package.

AestheticsInMotion > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 10/02/2018 at 17:48

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Ewwww

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > WilliamsSW 10/02/2018 at 17:49

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It sure is, friend.

Urambo Tauro > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 10/02/2018 at 17:50

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Lookit me I’m a fermer now #barnlyfe

WilliamsSW > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 10/02/2018 at 17:51

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When you want to make your bigly house look like the world’s cheapest-ass apartment building.   

Urambo Tauro > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 10/02/2018 at 17:53

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Oh good I was afraid it was gonna be  one of those vesse l sinks.

fhrblig > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 10/02/2018 at 17:54

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Let’s see... I'd like my building to look like three abandoned Red Barn restaurants that appear to be conjoined.

LimitedTimeOnly @ opposite-lock.com > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 10/02/2018 at 17:58

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Meanwhile I’m over here bothered by the position of the street drain, and the fact that it lacks a combination hood .

But, yeah, ugly house, too.

fintail > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 10/02/2018 at 18:02

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Fake Victorian is a bit heavy, but not a bowl sink, so it has that going for it.

SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 10/02/2018 at 18:14

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I must say that there are times that I am glad to live in a country without much of an architectural heritage of its own to aspire to in modern building design.

It does tend to save us from most of the faux heritage abominations  that you present to us...

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 10/02/2018 at 18:18

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In old construction, those would be 3 separate detached houses.

The way they did the design, it looks like a line of 3 townhouses, even though it’s not.

And to make matters worse, the entrance is in the wrong spot. It should in the middle of the middle ‘house’.

In the past, they took design and symmetry a lot more seriously.

It’s the typical cheesy architectural mess you get on a lot of new home construction.

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > WilliamsSW 10/02/2018 at 18:19

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Looks like a row of cheaper townhouses to me.

facw > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 10/02/2018 at 18:22

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And to make matters worse, the entrance is in the wrong spot. It should in the middle of the middle ‘house’. 

To me, it looks like the entrance is in the right place, but they only should have had two “barns”. Instead of the garage barn , mirror the porch from the other side, enclose it, and put the garage in there (it might need to spill over into the barn on the right of the doorway). If that makes your house too small, extend the barns towards the back to make it larger.

TechJunky > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 10/02/2018 at 18:25

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My apartment junior year of college looked like that!

One year of seeing that was more than sufficient. 

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > facw 10/02/2018 at 18:26

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Yeah... if they only had two ‘barns’, the entrance location would work better. 

WilliamsSW > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 10/02/2018 at 18:31

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I thought that was what it was until I saw the garage door.

Someone with more money than taste.  

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 10/02/2018 at 18:41

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This house should probably be featured on the McMansion Hell website:

http://mcmansionhell.com/

ranwhenparked > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 10/02/2018 at 19:03

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I feel like a real Shingle Style house would have more variation, instead of repeating the same thing three times across the facade. 

BobintheMtns > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 10/02/2018 at 19:03

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Traditional architecture has to have an element of symmetry to it. Ever notice how when a child draws a house, the front looks like a face- two windows for eyes and the door for the mouth.. symmetry.

This house has the symmetry of a coffin.

nFamousCJ - Keeper of Stringbean, Gengars and a Deezul > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 10/02/2018 at 19:05

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We want the barn look!

Ok...

3 barns!

Uh.. ok?

But we want maximum  floor space

Whatever

The Dummy Gummy > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 10/02/2018 at 19:21

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That’s an ugly home. 

Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 10/02/2018 at 19:22

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This makes me want to hurl. Those windows are way too big to be period correct.  And nobody buying new houses wants the period correct window size for obvious reasons.

OPPOsaurus WRX > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 10/02/2018 at 20:36

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its all about proportions and the trims. just look at what stretching the gamble bay up does for it.

Brian McKay > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 10/02/2018 at 22:09

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U hmerickins are stupid.

Svart Smart, traded in his Smart > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 10/03/2018 at 10:00

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At least it’s consistent and there’s symmetry to be found. 

Stef Schrader > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 10/04/2018 at 00:37

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mcmansionhell.com/nope/why/ew/gross/yuck.html